Stoics Anonymous
by clair beaubien
Summary: Modern Day AU. Ezra hears "I'm fine" one too many times from the other.


Ezra had endured enough.

Friday night, and the seven friends had drifted together to spend the evening at their favorite haunt, after the ladies had declared an impromptu "girls night out" and left their men folk bereft of companionship.

It'd been a hard week, a hard several weeks for some of this group of men and women, and Ezra would never presume to begrudge the ladies their own form of respite. His current aggravation stemmed from quite another direction. The men were currently dispersed throughout the otherwise under populated establishment, and as Ezra let his attention drift to each on in turn, his felt his pique increasing.

Mr. Wilmington stood at the jukebox, idly and forlornly feeding quarters into it. He'd been in a depressed mood all week. JD informed the rest that Buck had found out over the weekend that his very first girlfriend had recently died from complications of acute diabetes. All the gentlemen were aware what a crushing blow the death of even a minor acquaintance would be to the man, yet when Ezra approached him, "and how are you this evening, Mr. Wilmington?" Buck smiled and shrugged off Ezra's query.

I'm kinda worried about Josiah…" and he slid a couple more quarters into the machine.

Two weeks before, Josiah had made his somewhat-monthly journey across the state to visit his sister. She lived in a supervised setting for people whose mental and emotional circumstances left them unable to live on their own. Generally, these visits culminated in Mr. Sanchez proffering gifts his sister had made for them all in recreational therapy, and recounting the day trips they'd made and how well she was doing. His utter silence on the topic this time spoke volumes.

Sitting alone in a booth, nursing a bottle of beer, Josiah answered Ezra's remark that he seemed a little out of sorts by shaking his head. "Just been wondering if there's anything we can do for Nathan…"

Mr. Jackson had taken the State Exam to upgrade from an EMT to a paramedic. Months of study, worry, and more study, then weeks of waiting for the results, had been stressful for Nathan. He claimed he was delighted with his score – 95 – but anyone who knew the man as well as they did, knew he was tearing himself up over the questions he'd missed.

Looking up briefly from the textbook fixed to the table before him when Ezra inquired after his health, Nathan gestured across the room. "It's that fool we should be worried about. The man oughtta know better'n keep working with busted ribs."

A short walk across the wooden floor brought Ezra to Mr. Tanner's side. He'd been vocal enough about the teenage boy with the faulty brakes who'd plowed into him at a stop sign, sending Vin's car into a stonewall, and sending Vin into the steering wheel. Though Nathan, and his doctor, and all the rest of his friends, recommended he take some time off from work, he wouldn't. They all knew that he was worried about paying the deductible for his car and medical insurance, and that he was trying to make do with over the counter painkillers because he couldn't afford the prescription he'd been given. He'd politely – and sometimes not so politely – deflect any suggestion, offer, or hint that he could come to his friends for whatever help he needed.

Even now, "Ezra – how're you doing?" before Ezra could ask it of him. "How's your Mom?" which prompted Ezra to do some shrugging of his own while offering an innocuous reply. He hadn't spoken to his mother for nearly six weeks since she left for the Bahamas, peeved because he'd expressed disappointment that she would miss his birthday. Again. Loud and trenchant disappointment.

"I was wondering about Mr. Larabee…" Ezra segued. "Has someone run off with his dog?" Vin shook his head and took a sip of his beer.

"Anniversary. Him and Sarah woulda been married ten years, yesterday. Stubborn cuss…what's he think friends are for?"

Yet, when Ezra approached the man in question, where he shot pool in the corner of the room, "Mr. Larabee, I haven't see you in a few days…" Chris immediately changed the subject.

"You got any idea what's up with JD? Just sitting there by himself, playing with that damn Rubik's Cube. Hasn't said a word all day, you don't think he's still upset about being ID'd at that bar last weekend? So he looks young …that'll change."

And there did sit Mr. Dunne, paying scant attention to his challenging pastime. "Hey Ez'…" he ignored as well any question regarding his state of well-being. "I'm real worried about Buck. I've never seen him this down…"

Ezra had endured enough. He grabbed the Rubik's Cube out of JD's hand to use as a gavel, thumping it loudly on the table.

"Gentlemen…" he intoned when he was sure he had everyone's attention. "I'd like to thank you all for coming to tonight's meeting of 'Stoics Anonymous.' Please let me begin…" he handed the puzzle cube back to JD and stood up on a chair.

"Hello. My name is Ezra, and I'm fine. Really."

He got down off the chair, ignoring the stares and bemused smiles of his friends, and ordered himself a drink.

M7*M7*M7

After Ezra took his drink and sat down, the barroom fell quiet again, except for the faint clicks of a solitary pool game, and the sad words of the love songs Buck was playing on the jukebox. After a few minutes of listening to that, Josiah pushed his beer aside and walked over. Pulling up a stool to match the one that Buck was on, he took a deep breath and asked:

"Tell me about her?"

"You mean Marilynn?" Buck seemed happy, almost relieved to be asked. "Ohh - she was a bright spot in my dull life, I'll tell you Josiah." He shook his head, remembering. "She was just a girl in the neighborhood, I was fifteen, she was thirteen, but we'd go to movies and baseball games. Just sit on the front steps and talk most of the time. She was smart and funny…she got married a while back." He ran his fingers over the buttons of the jukebox.

"She had real bad diabetes since she was five. Had a couple heart attacks in the past few years. Kidneys were shot. I knew it was coming - just seems odd to think she's not there anymore..." and he didn't say anything else. Josiah leaned a little closer.

"But you know that we're still here, don't you?"

Buck smiled, though tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes. "Yeah, I do know that." He slapped Josiah's arm and stood up. "I gotta grab a couple beers and check on JD...thanks Josiah..." He walked away. Josiah stayed a minute to peruse the song selection on the jukebox. He looked up when Nathan took Buck's empty stool.

"Y'know Josiah -." Nathan started right in. "Even people who don't have the trials that Hannah does, they have their good days and bad days too. She's had bad times before, and she always comes back from 'em. I know it's hard on you..." he added, when Josiah dropped his eyes.

"But they're making progress everyday on new medications, new treatment options. In the meanwhile, she's safe, in a place where she's comfortable and happy. She's got a brother who loves her, and six more standing right behind." He paused then, until Josiah met his gaze again. "Maybe next time you'll let me go out with you? I want to ask Hannah if she'll make another dream catcher I can give to Rain."

"She'd be pleased to see you again." Josiah nodded. "And I'd surely appreciate it too."

"Good." Nathan said. He stood up and went back to his table and his textbook. He found Vin there, squinting down at the picture of a severed body part.

"Hey Nathan..." he asked, sounding very casual. "You becomin' a paramedic, that's a big thing, hunh? Means a lot to you..."

"Yeah, means I can help more people in more ways than I can now..."

"Oh." Still casually, Vin flipped the page of the book.

"I was wonderin' - who got the highest mark on that test a' yours, out of everybody you know?"

"Well...I guess I did..." Nathan allowed.

"And those questions you got wrong - you're reading this book again to make sure you wouldn't get 'em wrong again?" He looked up.

"Yeah..." Nathan sounded puzzled. Vin grinned at him.

"Well then, get your jaw up off the floor Nathan. Celebrate. You did good."

"Yeah, I guess I did at that." Nathan agreed. They both turned to watch a young man come into the bar. He carried a small white bag. He looked a little lost, and Ezra went over to him. They conversed briefly, Ezra handed him what looked like a tip, and took the paper bag from him. The young man left, and Vin walked over to Ezra.

"Kinda public place to be makin' a drop there, don't you think?" he joked. But Ezra handed him the bag. "What? What is it?" Vin opened the bag and took out a medicine bottle. Tylenol with codeine. His prescription painkillers. "How?"

"You should never leave your jacket in a highly accessible spot." Ezra tsk'd.

"I left my jacket on the front seat of Chris' truck..." Vin accused him.

"Really? Oh yes, I must've come across it when I asked Chris if I might look in his glove compartment for my sunglasses, just after the two of you arrived here..." He maintained a very innocent xpression on his face.

"Ezra - my insurance doesn't cover prescriptions. I know how much this cost."

"And if you make one sound about repaying me, I will take them back from you." Ezra said. "I'm only giving them to you now because I can see that you have imbibed very little alcohol so far this evening. However, I do have one condition."

"Sure - anything - name it." Vin was just grateful to have heavy-duty painkillers. Ezra held out his hand.

"Keys."

"But - Chris is driving me home."

"Yes, and we will rely on his judgment at that time to determine when you can be trusted with these again." Vin hesitated, and Ezra threatened, "You have had some alcohol after all. Now, I can tell Chris that you are taking codeine on top of beer - or I can tell Nathan. Which do you prefer?" and the keys were placed in hand.

"Damn hard condition." Vin growled.

"A pleasure doing business with you." Ezra walked over to the pool table and tossed the keys to Chris. "Mr. Tanner is now on codeine." He said. Chris' face clearly showed that he didn't understand, but he only nodded and didn't ask.

"Hey Ez'..." he said, when Ezra began to turn away. "Tomorrow's your birthday, isn't it?"

"Well, yes. As it happens, that is my natal day."

"Y'got any plans?"

"Not really. Several of our associates made reference to a gathering of some sort or another, but nothing definite."

Chris nodded. "Well, Maude's flight gets in at 2:30 so you'll have to pick her up." He bent down to his pool game, leaving Ezra speechless in astonishment. "And dinner is at four, at E.B. Greens. Don't be late." Then Chris looked up. "She just needed a little persuasion is all Ezra. Hell, you know I can be charming…" He gave a truly wicked smile. "…or not…"

Ezra walked away, shaking his head. JD came over a few minutes later. He still had the Rubik's Cube in his hand. He watched Chris play for a while, but didn't say anything. He swallowed and made a few attempts to start saying something, then finally began.

"You know Chris, you remember last September? When it was six months after my Mom died, and you told me that I shouldn't try to hide how bad I was feeling from my friends, and how it was going to hurt and I should just let it hurt, and that you knew how I felt and I could talk to you anytime I needed to talk about losing her?"

"Yeah JD. I remember that." Chris' voice was gentle and understanding.

"Well – same goes for you…" and Chris stared at him a minute, then nodded.

"Thanks JD. That means a lot to me."

JD nodded too, then turned when he heard Buck calling him back to his table. "C'mon. Have a beer. I want t'tell you something."

"What?" JD resumed his seat, across the booth from Buck.

"That guy at the bar last week, who proofed you…" Buck watched JD's xpression sour. "He was just trying to embarrass you in front of Casey."

"Well excuse me Buck – but duuuuhhhhh."

"And why would he want to embarrass you in front of Casey?" "Easy – he was trying to hit on her."

"And why would he want to do that?" Buck asked.

"C'mon Buck – it happens all the time. Other guys trying to pick her up. It's 'cause she's pretty and smart and fun to be with…"

"And what was her reaction to that fella?"

JD grinned. "She told him he was a jerk, and asked me to take her someplace else."

"So – the lady that every other guy wants to be with, only wants to be with you…isn't that right?"

"Yeah – I guess it is…" JD agreed. "That is it exactly…"

"Good – 'bout time you figured that out." Buck stood up, grabbed the Rubik's Cube and, like Ezra, used it as a gavel to gain everyone's attention. "Fellas – I want to propose a toast. To family and friends, to gain and loss, to our accomplishments and our failures, to the pain we share – and the pain that gets shared anyway. Gentlemen…" he lifted his glass. _"To us_."

The End.


End file.
